Damien Mulley

Hurrah.

Figured out some stuff over the past few days. Things I need to do and all that. Some stuff I need to do is embarassing, others are going to involve emotional pain and some things are going to be plain nasty. I’m very comfortable right now with my life but I think I may be too comfortable.

The western world is too pampered. The drive for a lot of us is gone, or it never occured. Jesus this sounds like fight club but its true, we are lost in the new world. But as well as that television tells us we can be joe millionaire and to strive to be a statistic beater and be a movie star or a popstar, but then if we fail they don’t want to know about it. Its all or nothing and when 99% of us nothings realise we won’t be the 1% what happens ?

We as a group can probably change the world by each doing something small in combination with everyone else if we were motivated, but we are too comfortable and we are too used to being allowed to not push ourselves. I think society is slowing down and I wonder will it stop and die under its own fat lazy weight.

So, maybe I should leave this society or react against it ? No wonder so many people escape using drinks and drugs.

Come on Humanity. Fight, stop being so apathetic. The ugent need to improve oneself and life and discover so much has gone. Why is that ?

Powerless by Miz Furtado has been in my head a lot recently. I have her last album and I love it. Theres a song called “On the Radio” thats a kind of “Fuck you, I’m doing my shit without you, and staying true to myself. And you said I wouldn’t do it without you. Well I’ve done it”

Its a great song, and her new album I hope will be as good. I think someone might have purchased this album for me so I’ll wait before buying. Shes dad sexy too. Anyway, heres powerless:

Powerless (Say What You Want)”

Paint my face in your magazines
Make it look whiter than it seems
Paint me over with your dreams
Shove away my ethnicity
Burn every notion that I may have a flame inside to fight
And say just what is on my mind
Without offending your might

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
So say what you want
Say what you want

I saw her face outside today
Weatherworn, looking all the rage
They took her passion and her gaze and made a poster
Now it’s moccasins we sport
We take the culture and contort
Perhaps only to distort what we are hiding

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
But say what you want
Say what you want

Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in, get in
Hey you, the one that don’t fit in, how ya, how ya gonna get in
Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in with your
Broken teeth, broken jaw, broken mojo
Yeah, this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

Listening to an Irish band called The Tycho Brahe at the moment. I like the below song the most just for the two lines “Am I not a good person, Am I not a good soul”. The singers got a beautiful voice and shes backed up by musicians that seem to be mature enough to play quality music. The lyrics throughout the album are very Poetic and convey some lovely imagery. More Tycho Brahe Lyrics here.

Some other lines are:
“Thinking about the wizardry of dreams
How a man can turn a girl into a saint
Because it’s easier to hold onto the pain
It takes courage to let go”

Mmmmm. Yes.

Song Name: Defiance

There is a knot inside
I’m unable to make sense of this world
This world
The pain is doubled by the light from others’ windows
And it is trebled by the darkness on the ground

Am I not a good person?
Am I not a good soul

Well I do believe in magic but I cannot make it work
I have doubts
Such doubts
I may be lonelier than ever at this juncture
But I like myself enough to stick around

Am I not a good person?
Am I not a good soul

I am trying
And I mean it
I’m not a liar
But I fail sometimes
And I mess up
And I clean up
But the fault is
All mine

Am I not a good person?
Am I not a good soul

2003 I liked. 2004 I’ll like too I hope. Maybe its a good year. My shit is finally in order I guess. I have a longterm plan formulated for about 6 months. Posted bits from it before on this site.

Summary: New job. Holiday to Africa or Japan. New love. New qualifications. Posisbly College. Social Anthropology looks good. Philosophy in UCC looks interesting too as does Sociology.

So over this Christmas Holiday Season when I have been getting fatter and unhealthier I did a slight spring cleaning of my domains.

So as it stands I own the following domains.:
AceJobs.net Have an idea but not the time to develop it. Needs a good DB designer for it to work.

BuyAnOrgan.net This started as a satirical website for buying human organs online but now its Kevins weblog.

Corkonia – Cork City Website Not sure what I was going to do with this site to be honest. It was going to be a directory site or a tourism site or something. Might keep the name for another while. I was thinking actually of creating a website for people doing their driving test and have maps of the various routes they take you on for the test. Could be a handy resource. The website would be payed for by advertising the local driving instructors.

Digihive This was going to be the site for my online business, whatever the fuck that was going to be. I just host subdomains off it now.

DodgyList – All things Dodgy. A guy at work has a “dodgy” list where he basically mails out links to soft porn and pics of babes to a load of people. He really does email out some quality stuff. I used to post these links in a private forum on Boards.ie but its a private forum so I set up dodgylist for uploading pics and sending out links. I need to develop it further though.
lgbyouth/glbyouth – Irish Gay Teen Website I want to set up a resource site for Irish Gay Teens. Well irish Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgendered and Questioning teens. Theres no resource for Irish teens like this and I feel something like this is needed. If the site only every gets read by one person but they find it useful then it was worth it. I need to sit down and work on this soon. I’ve left it too too long.

Nicecock Its just a website with a picture of a male bird, as in a Cock. You know, the opposite to a hen. I think I’ll expand it a bit more and create a CafePress Shop to sell t-Shirts and stuff.

Peoples Republic Of Cock Its a piss take of the Peoples Republic of Cork, or was meant to be so but I think I might just make it a piss take of Cork itself. Make it all official looking apart from the name. I’d like to see how far up the Google Rankings it would get when a search for Cock is entered.

The Mulley Family Group of sites:
We have Mulley.net Mulley.org – Mulley Genealogy Mulley.info Mulley.us and Mulley.biz. These all need to be developed by me too.

Damn I have too many domains. *sigh*.

Got a few txts of late. Think I’ll reply to them here as I don’t have to pay for the pleasure and theres not a character limit for my character assasination.

text 1: I got one txt giving me a hug “even though you don’t like me anymore”

Ooooh, clever. Make it out to be somehow my fault that you are a lying cheating manipulative weasel. I don’t know of many people that could keep liking someone thats lied so much to them, cheated on their best friends more than once, tried to act the victim nonstop by giving puppy dog eyes and acted innocent when all fault was theirs.

I don’t have time to waste in my life putting up with people like that and then suffer the fallout all around me because I know this person. Its a pity I was so damned blind for so long but I guess while I come across as a cynical bastard I still have lots of faith in humanity.

This time I was wrong, its not my first time being wrong and its far from my last time. This doesn’t mean I’m losing faith though. Humanity is still great and the majority of the people will do good not bad.

Its not like I got seriously fucked over though. Thank god. Although karma probably owes me one of them from my own past behaviour. Its a pity I wasted so much emotional energy on one person. Still I’d do it again. Bring it on.

Yes, we have all texted people while drunk. Its funny when you look at the sent items the following morning and go “Oh sweet jesus”. more on Intexticating.

The Call Centre Diary. A diary of a team lead that works in a call centre. Its like a tamed down version of the BOFH. This being real life I guess the deaths per day in the place is kept low. Its funnier than the BOFH since these people are real. I love the guy with the nickname Thrush, he got it because he is an irritating cunt. I’m going to use that. 🙂

Nice article in the Guardian about Philip Pullman. I like how he sent his fathers ashes into the air with 40 firewords, a great way to spead ashes. Theres also a Dark Materials play now. Would love to go and see it. Two 3 hour plays in fact, I wonder what got squeezed out to cut the trilogy down to 6 hours.

The Decalogue was waiting for me when I got into work today. I look forward to watching these ten movies. Also Lambs album – Between Darkness and Wonder arrived too.

The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown.

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”…

… and I’ll look down, and whisper “No.”

I don’t smile enough really. I laugh a lot though. I laugh but I do not smile. Maybe it stems from the fact that I had braces when I was a kid and hated to smile with the metal monstrosity mouth I had.

Or maybe it came from my talent to hide emotion and wear that poker face of mine. Sometimes people don’t know how to read me at all, especially if they don’t know me first and I want to play with them a bit. You know in the initial meeting someone they’ll try and figure out your personality, what you react positively and negatively to and then from there know how to feed your ego and in a way ingratiate themselves with you my saying and mentioning things you like. And they try this with me and I don’t react.