Damien Mulley

Moving on…

Solomon Burke – Diamond in your mind(Live). Song written by Tom Waits. The album this came from is fantastic.

A text message comes in at 1.48am this morning and woke me. It was from a friend asking me “Are you and D still going out?” Instantly I knew what was happening. He was at some college function where she was too. I texted D and her with “What the fuck has just happened?” She replies back she’s seen him kissing another guy, a friend of ours.

My heart is already broken and racing by this time. Eventually after what seems like hours(it was minutes), he rings me and we converse. He is sorry but goes on to say he should have ended things in January but did not have the backbone. I’m quite vexed but calm enough. I calm a bit more after the phone conversation and text him to say I accept his apology. He’s an asshole, yeah, but I can’t but forgive him. I care too much or some bollox like that.

Myself and D have been on and off for years at this stage. I was begining to think this time was for real this time and he’d be the person I’d be spending the rest of my life with. One of the main motivators for doing the law degree in UCC is to become better versed in Irish law so I can work on campaigning for better rights for people including gay couples. I still have the dream to settle down and raise a family though a gay couple raising kids, I’m still not fully decided on.

No matter how a breakup happens and where the guilt/fault lies you always feel that it is your fault too. If you were a better boyfriend then there’d be no cheating. You failed. There is something wrong with you if someone doesn’t want to stay with you and goes off and cheats.

Needless to say I’m a little sad today and the lack of sleep since around 2am this morning doesn’t help. I’m also not in the mood for eating. Years back a situation like this happened with another guy I was seeing and for a full week after, everytime I did get to sleep my brain just went over the situation again and again and again. I think that’s what hell would be like for me. An endless tiring loop of the sadder part of your lives.

I was meant to be going on a stag weekend in Galway this weekend but am going to cancel that now since me getting drunk now is a bad idea. When in a black mood and drunk I become a not so nice person. The timing of this is fucking annoying, I’ve been under enough stress with getting the blog Awards going and now have this to deal with. Oh yeah and my home pc is knackered too. “Comes in three” someone is bound to say. Shut up. 🙂

Maybe something good that came from this was the first person I texted was a friend I fell out with a good while back. Despite all the reent acrimony it was him I turned to and it was him that was supportive and at 2am. Thanks B.

Now, if you managed to read this woeful shite to this point, you may wonder why I wrote a personal blog post. It is, afterall, not my style. I try and keep my personal life off my blog and reserve the blog for such intelligent things as fluffy links and digs at regulators. Well, as I’ve said to many a person in recent times, I think blogging your thoughts allows you to frame them and understand yourself better, so I guess I’m now being an example. The other thing is that some of the blog posts at the Blog Awards this year, as well as last year are/were quite raw writings dealing with personal issues and situations. Deep insights into people without them putting a shield in place. I’d almost feel hypocritical at this stage to praise all these bloggers and then not make this public. So there you go, my soul or part of it on a plate. My finger has been hovering over the publish button for half the morning. One more of many deep breaths. Here we go…

Caitriona has gone all stat porn for us and done some nice Blog Awards 2007 statistics. Enjoy. Maybe they can use them on RTE 1 tomorrow?

Also, we’re still looking for sponsors!

Today’s fluffy links are brought to you by the letter D, for Digg, that I got most of these from.

220 people have now registered for the blog awards. It could be a sold out event. Might be best to register if you want to go.

Heh. Funny.

Meh T-shirts.

Australia is banning traditional lightbulbs.

Giant IKEA sign with “page cannot be displayed error”.

Hilarious report of press conference on piracy going wrong.

Cool photo of a guy on an escalator.

Warlords of Pez or the KKK?

As the whole damned network is down. Getting various reports from all over the country that the BT service is down. eircom maybe thieving bastards but they have probably the best service around.

If you have 2k, 1k or .5k in cash to spare, consider sponsoring something at the Blog Awards.

Don’t forget to register if you are coming along.

Ah mathematics. I hated you in school and hated you in college but thanks to you, people *can* fold a piece of paper 12 times.

One for Educamp Ireland? Via Joho – DonorsChoose.org

a teacher in Richton, Mo., posted a request for a $392 camcorder for her kids to act out stories they’re reading; a teacher in New York City asked for a rug on which to read stories to kindergarteners ($474); and a teacher in a 100 percent low-income school in Los Angeles wants a $414 telescope to teach astronomy to her students. Donors scroll through the hundreds of proposals (searchable by region, subject, level of school poverty, etc.) and fund them in whole or in part with a couple of clicks.

Marmite. Ugh. Marmite using Guinness yeast. Still Ugh.

Dialog from Glengarry Glen Ross. Almost as good as the dialog from Wallstreet. Greed is good.

Via Rashomon. Airborne cats. Andy suggests photoshopping in little jetpacks on them.

Swedish Unions act more like the mafia.

Via Fred, Arcade Fire in Union Square:

Anyone remember The Secret Life of Machines? I remember watching it in school and then on telly at weird hours too. Well you can see many of them on Google Video now and you can even download them on bittorrent with it seems the permission of show creator Tim Hunkin. They’re all quite entertaining and well worth watching. Kids will even enjoy them. Tim was also the bloke that designed the Flying Pigs for Pink Floyd.

Here’s The Secret Life of the Lift:

Kate Bush can sing about em so why not have a programme about them, the Secret Life of the Washing Machine:

The No Asshole rule. Something I want to implement a lot more in recent times.

Shucks, ta.

The hum of the earth. No, not the smell.

Votes from 67 countries. Some reach for the Blog Awards.

Orwell writing tips.

DRM for dads.

The joys of tech support:

Lithium with sock puppets – Polyphonic Spree

Polyphonic – Sgt Peppers

Educamp Ireland – A BarCamp on the Irish Education system. For the resources that schools are given, they do a fantastic job but a great deal more needs to be done.

ByteSense. Analyse your AdSense earnings. Yet another fantastic application from Robin.

Michael Gartenberg, the next Scoble? Been a big fan of Michael for the past few years. A very high quality blogger, I look forward to his new blog.

Clever ad for AXE.

James from Top Gear on the Alabama incident.

Another mod for the Robosapien.

Via Everson:

The one that got away: