Archive for the ‘Eamon Ryan’ Category

Guest Post: Eamon “I brought sexy back but in a carbon neutral way” Ryan

Friday, April 25th, 2008

From time to time I ask some bloggers and other folks to write some guest posts on this blog. A one-time subscriber to this blog has now been invited to talk about social networking and politics. He’s been writing up a storm this week and was also in the Examiner yesterday talking about gases and things. Without further ado here’s Eamo*:


Dearest Mulley followbitches. I interrupt your fluffy posts for this paltry political boredcast. Who’s the sexiest mofo in the Cabinet? ME. Who’s the sexiest mofo in Leinster House? Oh that’d be ME too. The sexiest politician in Ireland? Seeing a pattern? ME.

How do you know I know this? The Facebooks. It doesn’t lie. It told Bertie to resign. He did. (I gave him a big man hug when he left). It told Bertie to take Enda with him. He is. (Ooops spoiler alert) and now the Facebooks command that Eamon Ryan – The Sexiest Politican in Ireland. And who am I to object and who are you to defy their order?

They have great pics of me including the pic that that washup Hasselhoff nicked off me. (His car was not Green friendly you know. Anything called KITT generally expels far too much CO2 anyway.)

Eamon Ryan pics

This is what the group says:

Eamon is the sexiest politican in Ireland. Fact! 😉 And the lovliest…and he’s ours! This group is a celebration and appreciation of his yumminess.

They make me sound like a gummi bear. RAR.

Dancing Bears
Photo owned by tlianza (cc)

So please join the group. Only 9 true believers from Young Elves Greens have joined so far. Social networks are important for politics because there are never enough places to worship me. I googled in the Facebooks but couldn’t find any groups devoted to my always happy and jolly colleague Former TD Senator Dan Boyle. Ah well.

Please however do not misconstrue me being the sexiest for the bestest and fiercest. Papa Bear King Leader Super Gormley with his sandal powered super rothar is that.

Is mise Le Seán Lemass.



* Course it’s not him. This is satire. Bad satire but still satire.

Eamon Ryan – Green Party Sex God

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

It was in the Indo so it’s beyond fact.

The young wans in the Green Party are hot for Eamon and the lads are gay for him (in the gay way).

During a discussion on how to attract more young people to the party, Louise Archbold of the Young Greens got a bit frisky. “When all else fails, we just put up some Eamon Ryan posters and watch the girls — and some of the boys — sign up,” she said naughtily.

When he was winding up his speech on Saturday, Eamon got a bit passionate. In order to wrap the world in green cloth, he was prepared to take drastic action. “I will take off my jacket. I will take off my shirt!” he announced to a bit of lusty cheering.

Sadly for the womenfolk Eamon kept his shirt on, even when a spot of serious disco shapes were being thrown in the hotel bar late on Saturday night. The minister left the dance floor to vegetable-loving junior minister Trevor Sargent who made like a Mexican jumping bean during ‘Leim Thart’, Des Bishop’s as Gaeilge version of ‘Jump Around’.

Here’s Eamon in all his, er, glory. Of course his Kitt runs on vegetable oil. The fumes after the turbo boost are quite noxious.
Eamon Ryan is the HOFF!

God bless you Green Ink.

Check out these Bebo pics, here’s a good one. The puppet is the pink one. Bottom, middle.
Eamon Ryan is no puppet.

(Yes, Labour Kids, you is next)

How fucking much! Dept of Comms spent €423,938.18 til Nov 2007 on National Broadband Scheme

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

From a parliamentary question.

345. Deputy Damien English Information asked the Minister for Communications, Energy and Natural Resources Information Zoom the private consultancy firms his Department and the agencies which report to his Department used to date in 2007; the projects each worked on; the cost to his Department or agency of each engagement;

I removed everything bar the stuff on NBS and Regional Broadband Scheme. This is just on outside consultants.

Aneta Scieplek Advisory Services on NBS Programme 21,750.22
Arthur Cox Legal Advice in relation to the Regional broadband Programme 192,696.56
ESRI NBS Mapping Consultancy 15,247.50
Mazars Financial re GBS Scheme 46,391.90
Masons NBS Technical advice 147,672

Simon Coveney’s Private Member’s Bill tonight and tomorrow

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

Simon Coveney from Fine Gael has put down a motion on broadband during Fine Gael private members time in the Dail this week. There was some coverage about it in the Sunday Indo business supplement this weekend. It will be debated by all sides of the house from approximately 7 to 8.30pm this evening and Wednesday evening too. If you ring his office you can go and watch from the fruit throwing visitors’ gallery as his guest. Number is 01 6183755

I disagree with the FG broadband policy and their attitude til now on broadband but credit where credit is due, at least they are getting attention to the situation. Ross’ Bill is a bit better though. If it takes death by 1000 cuts or 10,000 cuts at least it might get the Government and the utterly woeful Minister for Communications to realise he’s being watched and held to task. There’s no hiding from the dire situation anymore.

(The 12 year old juvenile only giggled once at the title. Ok, twice)

Eamon Ryan’s One day meeting on broadband costs taxpayers €50k

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

From a question about the International Advisory Forum on Broadband.

222. Deputy Simon Coveney asked the Minister for Communications, Energy and Natural Resources the cost to the Exchequer of the International Advisory Forum on broadband to be held in Dublin later this month. [7197/08]

Minister for Communications, Energy and Natural Resources (Deputy Eamon Ryan): The estimate of the cost of the International Advisory Forum on broadband is €50,000.

8 people will be the ones telling Ryan over the course of the day how to plan the future of broadband in Ireland. That money would nearly pay for the enabling of an exchange in a rural Ireland to get broadband. That’s 50k less for the provision of broadband.

Eamon Ryan v Shane Ross on Prime Time

Thursday, February 21st, 2008

Audio is out of synch with the video, sorry. Watch Ryan’s bodylanguage. Audio is good quality.

With thanks to James Gallagher, you’ll also notice he’s joined Fianna Fáil:
Eamon Ryan Fianna Fail

Broadband lobby group – Barry wants one started

Saturday, February 16th, 2008

So Barry, frequent visitor to this blog has posted a thread on the old IrelandOffline forum looking for interested people who want to campaign to get the rest of the country broadband. I won’t be involved, just so we’re clear. Ive done my time and it’s about time that all those people who get on to me on an almost daily basis still and say “someone should do something” should themselves be that someone. So Barry is doing just that but he needs the help of others too. With the recent attitude from Lying Eamon Ryan, there is a definite need for some kind of lobby group and Shane Ross can’t be left to be the only person fighting for broadband, he needs others to row in too. So get over to IrelandOffline’s forum or if you don’t want to join (whyonearthnot?) leave a comment here and Barry can respond.

| Telephone Fiber Optic |
Photo owned by akaalias

As an example of the sheer bad attitude from Eamon Ryan and the Government, here’s a short clipping from the Sunday Times

John McElligott, the managing director of eBay in Ireland, has called on the minister to take a “quantum leap” by investing in NGNs, bringing Irish broadband speeds closer to the 100 megabits per second (Mbits/s) enjoyed in some countries. Irish download speeds for residential broadband users are a maximum of 12 Mbit/s. Most of the country operates on speeds of 1-2 Mbit/s. Ryan said McElligott was “right to be ambitious”, but questioned his thinking. “John runs eBay. When he starts running a construction company, he can advise me on digging holes to every home in the country,” Ryan said.

Cos Ryan clearly has a PhD in telecoms and broadband…

Lying Ryan on Prime Time

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Dear Lying

We suddenly have 120k people on mobile broadband? Didn’t you tell Bertie 90k just the other day and he said it on YouTube? Who to believe, who to believe. Not you.

You got caught with the maps. Badly. First anyone had heard about the maps being constantly updated. Should I FOI that too? According to you I should find a few iterations of that map when I do another FOI. I think I will so.

The National Broadband Scheme will be finished in 12 months. Really? If I asked eircom, BT and Three, would they agree? I’m going to ask them tomorrow to check.

We are NOT midtable OCED, we are not average. Bertie even said that the other day and that figure includes mobile broadband figures that are not counted by the OECD.

Loved when they quoted the DCMNR FOI’d documents about resources. Muhaha. Punk’d

Lying Ryan – Eamon Ryan flat out lies on Morning Ireland about broadband

Monday, February 11th, 2008

Eamon Ryan, Minister for Communications, Energy, Natural Resources, fabulous hair, good skin and barefaced lies was on Morning Ireland talking about Internet safety but the topic will always get into broadband at some stage and it did. And he lied. A lot. Audio here.

In a conversation about Internet safety he says of Ireland:
At 1.19 in that we are Leading online shoppers in the world.

Then it turned to broadband at 3.30
On the National Broadband Scheme 4.20 Rolling out from June. National Broadband Scheme.
On the International Broadband Advisoy Forum, he says local users contribute too?: 5.00 You want to hear from International experts but secondly you want to hear from the main users
On broadband in general: 5.18 “We are actually leading the world in terms of wireless and mobile connections in broadband”
On Northern Ireland and broadband: 5.39 “In many instances I think we’re actually ahead”

Anyways, back to Internet Safety. The Minister bullshitted on that too and about secure websites. Er, mate, this is your own website from February 6th, when it was you know, hacked: Eamon Ryan website hacked

The people assigned to decide Ireland’s Broadband future – International Advisory Forum on Broadband

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

All expenses paid, of course.

So Lieing Ryan has called in the mercenaries. He’s formed the International Advisory Forum on Broadband to talk about the next generation of broadband. Always good to look beyond the horizon, especially if there’s a huge mess around your feet that you don’t want to deal with.

The Forum will be facilitated by Mr. Eddie Molloy, a consultant with Advanced Organisations. The Forum members are:
Mr. H. Brian Thompson, Executive Chairman, Global Telecom & Technology.
Mr. Ken Carter, Senior Consultant, wik-Consult GmbH, Germany.
Mr. Martin Cronin, CEO, Forfás .
Ms. Isolde Goggin, Independent Consultant, Former Chair of ComReg.
Dr. Michael Nelson, Senior Professor, Georgetown University, USA. (and Obama fan)
Dr. Frank Sanda, CEO, Japan Communications Inc..
Mr. Tony Shortall, Economic Advisor, European Commission

ComReg have advisory panels like this too. In fact I think they have one on NGN, no? With the International aspect to it, you can take it for granted that the expenses of these folks will be quite large. I must dig out some FOI’d documents from ComReg but I know one person expensed over 20k for travel and stays when he flew in to attend meetings. Can we expect 100k to be spent to decide on our broadband future? 100k that might have enabled two exchanges for people in the present? Eamon says that availability is sorted.

Here’s the PR spiel from the Minister:

I have established an International Advisory Forum to advise on next challenge ahead – how we can get higher speed broadband at lower costs

Here’s the lie about availability:

The availability of broadband remains an issue for many consumers. The National Broadband Scheme will, in the coming months, begin to address the final piece of the availability issue. The competitive tender process for this Scheme is underway, which will serve the remaining parts of Ireland currently without access to broadband.

More words, more reports, more taxpayer money, more waiting for a lot of people.