Heath Ledger, Bacon numbers and Fred Phelps

Via Rick is news that Fred Phelps and his merry band of churchgoers have said they’re going to protest at Heath Ledger’s funeral. If it’s in Oz they’ll probably be treated to local Oz hospitality. Anyways. Ever notice how the Westboro Baptist troop are almost as good as Greenpeace when it comes to latching on to things in the public eye and getting their names attached. Greenpeace are constantly making a fuss about Apple products and Phelps protests any funeral that is linked in even the weakest ways to homosexuality.

I’m reminded of the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. Associate Kevin Bacon with anyone in Hollywood in as few moves as possible.

So Heath Ledger was in Brokeback Mountain and he had sex with a bloke. Protest his funeral.
There are gays in America, therefore when American soldiers die in Iraq, God is punishing them. Protest their funeral.
Matthew Shepard was murdered because he was gay. Protest his funeral.
That Tsunami killed Swedes, press release that they deserved it for liberal attitudes.

So now, let’s play the game with other figures, reasons why they should have protested these funerals:
Mother Theresa
Pople John Paul II
Freddy Mercury nevermind.
Katy French

The Bad Ambassador replies.

15 Responses to “Heath Ledger, Bacon numbers and Fred Phelps”

  1. cw says:

    “So now, let’s play the game with other figures, reasons why they should have protested these funerals:
    Mother Theresa
    Pople John Paul II

    Katy French

    All Roman Catholic.

    As far as I’m aware, Phelps isn’t too fond of them either.

  2. Adam says:

    Mother Theresa – easy; she helped people with HIV/AIDS, statistically speaking some of these must have gotten the disease from gay sex, therefore she was a friend of gays who tried to help them rather than let them suffer, like they deserve.

    Pope John Paul II – Failed to clamp down on secretly gay priests in the Church, didn’t attack homosexuality nearly enough.

    Katy French – was a fag hag.

    JFK – I dunno… failed to amend the US constitution to explicitly outlaw homosexuality in America?

    Pavarotti – Entertained millions of Opera fans around the world. As we all know, Opera is the gay-est form of entertainment and by definition Pavarotti must have made their gay lives more entertaining.

    Jesus – We all know what really went on with the devil in the desert.

  3. Sean says:

    Nicely put comments!

    I was going to go with cw’s comment that they were all catholic but Adam got it way better! 🙂

  4. Here are my guesses…

    (I don’t know how to do those back link thingeys…. or what a tracker mortgage is for that matter)

  5. What an absolute disgrace that they may need to have security at his funeral because of this – instead they should have snipers to pick each protester off one at a time. Then other people can protest their funeral because they were attending a gay-actor’s one therefore they must be gay sympathisers too – why else would they be there!

  6. UnaRocks says:

    Fuck Phelps, the best way to treat nutjobs like him and co is just to laugh at them… and then lock them up for hate crimes.

  7. Mother Teresa? Simple. For being a crook, a fraud, a friend of Baby Doc, and for ripping off thousands of American pensioners in the savings-and-loan scandal. Did I mention for being a crook?

    Pople John Paul II. You mean like a Pope-Pole? For those terrible gay slippers he wore when he was dead.

    Katy French. For the crack.

    JFK. For getting laid a lot more than your average non-President.

    Pavarotti. For the other two guys in dodgy suits.

    Jesus. For Christmas songs.

  8. Damien B says:

    Mother Theresa
    Pople John Paul II
    Katy French

    All Roman Catholic.

    I’m fairly sure Jesus was Jewish. Phelps is most likely not fond of them either tho!

  9. cw says:

    I regretted the “Roman” part as soon as I posted it.

    That said, you better get on to the Vatican and tell them that Jesus isn’t Catholic.

    They’ve been using that fact as a key part of their appeal for a good two thousand years.

  10. Twenty Major says:

    Katy French. For the crack.

    I think you’ll find it was cocaine…

  11. Christina says:

    I know:
    Microwave said to the
    Polish that he would like a
    French fancy so put on the
    Kettle, the
    Jumper got upset and left a
    puddle, I would say that was

  12. Timmah says:

    Mother Theresea face looked like a scrotum….. thinking about mans parts makes Phelps confused…Protest!

  13. Trinity says:

    Reminds me of this little parody on an old Bing Crosby song, by some Irish guy if I remember correctly…

    It’s lonely up in Heaven (Fred Phelps)..

    There’s no one there but Fred
    All the rest went straight to Hell
    As soon as they were dead

    Coretta Scott and Reagan
    Dear old Gerald Ford
    It may be hot where they wound up
    But at least they won’t be bored

    The Boston Pops, Metallica
    The cast of Riverdance
    A singer name of Marvin Gaye
    (He never had a chance)

    There’s Milton Berle, Flip Wilson
    And of course, they’re dressed in drag
    But who’d have guessed Bill Clinton
    Was just a closet fag?

    And Hillary, a lesbian?
    As far as Fred can tell
    But any place that she shows up
    Is certain to be Hell

    Pope John Paul and Buck O’Neil
    Anne Frank and Princess Di
    All share a lake of brimstone
    With that Adolf Hitler guy

    Saddam is here, and Castro
    That’s really no surprise
    But Billy Graham has a room reserved
    The minute that he dies

    Theresa of Calcutta’s works
    Don’t count for much down here
    To us she may have been a Saint,
    To Fred, another queer

    So I pray, Oh Lord, on Judgement Day
    May I escape their fate
    Please grant me opportunities
    To prove that I am straight!

  14. Oh well spotted, Twenty. There’s no fooling you.

  15. Dude love says:

    I’m a Perth guy, and I’m planning on getting my ENTIRE kick-boxing group and red-necks and aborigional gangs to be on the ready so when this cult (they are NO religion, they’re masquerading as a church) arrives to harrass heaths funeral, WE will step in and give those fuckers a beating….hell, maybe even kill them….They’re the #1 hated family on the planet and wont be missed….Hell! I’d rather listen to Bin Laden then fred the fag phelps. And I dont even like Laden.

    I’m a bit nervous because I’ve never concidered killing anyone before, but this cult is making me shake with inhuman rage! So I have every right to explain my actions. Phelps will NOT be returning to America….except in several small boxes.

    Contact ALL of your friends and family in the Perth area….I’ll need some backup….and some sanitiser cream….I dont want yo go too long from touching them (even if its with my fists)

    But these dickwads will die….Australian style!