Security loading x ray machine and issuing instructions to passenger queue. Empty pockets, take off belts, shoes etc.(signs everywhere with graphical instructions of what to do)
Next passenger stands there with all items on with blank stare.(this happens all day every day)

Security..Sorry sir penknifes are not allowed
Passenger… But I’ve had it for years.
Ah well thats ok then,as long as your sure.(as if)

Every scissors was a gift from a dying relative
Security..If it is that important to you why not go back out and post it home
Passenger..What and waste what time I could have in the duty free?

Passenger..But its obvious its a kids gun
Security…We know that too, but at 37000ft with a cloth over it I might not be as sure.
Passenger…This is ridiculous.

Passenger..Can I go back out for a smoke
Security..Ok Sir
Passenger on return(this happens everytime)..I was in already
Security..Yes sir but you must be searched again
Passenger..This is stupid
Security…It is feasible that you could have met anyone outside the secure area and we cannot take any chances that you may have brought knowingly or unawares something back in to the secure area.

It is the likes of these petty arguments that cause the delays at security, not the staff.

I’ve gotten into the habit of putting EVERYTHING in my pockets these days before I get to the metal detector, so that it all goes through in the jacket.

I might just get in the habit of stripping off entirely down to my undies as a mark of protest. But I’ll have to invest in a pair of speedos. Wavy boxers might leave a shred of doubt, and as erratic as they tend to be in the airport, I’d probably have to whip the boxers off, tie them up in my belt and stick them in my boots.

Do they ever make exceptions for people flying business class? I wondered if there was some hierarchy as If flew BC yesterday and wondered why they didn’t take off without me. I got the the gate nearly 10 minutes after take off time.

Bring on the new terminal I say.

bernard, speaking as someone who flies a bit – I don’t think security staff would care so much if anyone went down option 2 – but as a passenger in the queue behind, I would, despite my efforts to shrug things off, be ripping. And I would be ripping at you, not security. Security have a job to do, however little faith you might have in them. But you know in advance that this is necessary, and deliberately slowing things up has far more of an impact on your fellow travellers than it does on the attitude of the screening agents who don’t get to make the policy.

Sandals would be great – but not with the kind of rain we’re having at the moment…

I would either:

1) wear a pair of sandles so you can get through quickly, or
2) wear a HUGE pair of mountain boots and remove them SLOWLY and put them on even SLOWER *just* to piss them off.

If enough people complain, they *might* get the idea.

This is of course due to the security staff NOT doing their jobs correctly. A recent Irish Times article explains:

http://tinyurl.com/dovqn

“A replica bomb concealed in luggage went unnoticed. In two other cases knives were concealed in one official’s shoe and in the under-garments of another person carrying out the audit.”

Not once did Dublin Airport Security Staff find it there.

Needless to say, it was a complete mistake on my behalf, and once it was brough to my attention, I removed it.

Nonetheless, Dublin Airport Security is lax in its daily security checks.

The endless removal of shoes is for the effect of security. A soap-opera of security.

I felt safer when they were not doing their jobs.

On Sunday I flew back through Geneve airport with a fondue set in my hand-luggage. I notified the security people that I had a fondue set in my baggage, showed it to them, and after consultation, they allowed it through.

I honestly felt safe with those people.

b