fog

I have this fog or daze about my head and soul at the moment. I’m unhappy about many things and its affecting my mood in general. I’m snappy to the people I care about and that care about me. My patience is almost gone.

I wish I could sleep it off.

I go out and laugh and joke but its still nagging at me. My finances, my career, my shitty education or proof I failed college twice is like a dig in the ribs, the pain of which is swimming in my brain and pushing against my eyeballs. I feel fat and lazy and stupid.

I wish I could sleep it off.

I’m tired due to lack of sleep and frustration with life. I have a stack of books and documents and other cool things I want to read and they gather dust. And then I add more to the stack and the dust scatters into the air before resettling and adding a fresh layer to this new printout. Same goes for the way I feed my brain I guess.

I wish I could sleep it off.

I’m going on holiday again at the end of the month. I just came back from glasgow and I’m in a bad mood since i came back. I have an irrational fear that I’ll be worse again when I do come back. If I am I’m going to quit work or do something stupid like that.

This sucks. I wish sleeping it off would work.

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